What I saw, what I heard, what I felt,
What I did, what I did not do, what I should have done, and What I left behind
■家庭醫學科張維和醫師
我見、我聞、我感覺
我做了什麼，又沒做什麼；我應該做什麼，但又遺落了什麼
We took the HSR from Kaohsiung and soon I was on my way back to Taipei and back to life as I knew it. While lying in bed that very same night, I tried to think of what I had left behind, but my tired body objected and would not allow me to do so; I quickly fell asleep. Now again, I try to remember what happened and how it happened. Or actually, I should say I can only guess to what I left behind because I believe I will never know the feeling of losing my job, home, and family at the same time unless I spend every second of the next twenty plus years with the typhoon victims.
才搭高鐵南下高雄，轉瞬間又踏上回台北的歸途，回到我熟悉的生活。躺在床上時，我總會試圖去回想我到底遺落了什麼，但疲憊的身體都會發出抗議，來不及回憶就沉沉睡去。
現在，再次試著去回想發生了什麼事、怎麼發生的，或者我應該說，我只能「猜想」讓我感到失落的是什麼，因為，除非我利用每分每秒，繼續陪伴風災災民二十年，不然我永遠都不會知道同時失去工作、家園和親友的感受。
August 17, 2009, late afternoon. Church stop No. 3.
This was our last stop.
2009/8/27 傍晚 這是最後一站了。
It was raining again. Actually, I should say it was pouring again, or as they would say, it was raining cats and dogs. A small stream had formed beneath my feet over the concrete formerly known as a driveway. Quickly we unloaded the medications, set up the equipment, and tried to help as many of the temporary residents as we could. A middle-aged woman came up to our desk and told me that her eyes hurt because she had been crying so much. She had lost someone. I don’t remember if I asked her who, but perhaps I should have. I tried to offer her my support and understanding, but I couldn’t believe I was of much help emotionally. The setting and time length I was given to speak to her was not right. I confess that I was caught off guard a little bit as well.
又開始下雨了，而且是傾盆大雨，雨水匯集成河流，淹沒我腳下原本的馬路。我們很快的把醫療用品和儀器整理好，希望儘可能的多幫助這些暫時被安置的民眾。有位中年婦女因為失去了親人、不斷哭泣，所以眼睛痛前來求診。我不記得有沒有問她是失去了誰，只能試著給她支持，讓她知道我能理解，但到底能給她多少情緒上的幫助就不得而知了。在這種情況下我和她的談話可能不是很恰當，老實說，這樣的對話也有點在我意料之外。
August 17, 2009, early afternoon. Church stop No. 2.
Backtrack a few hours earlier.
2009/8/27 下午
The kids were running around outside in the playground, all of them with smiles on their faces. Some had toys in their hands, some were riding mini-bicycles, and some were chasing those on mini-bicycles. How pure their laughter was. There was an air of innocence around them as if nothing had happened. Should I be glad for them that they are so innocent? or should I be worried about them about their future?
孩子在外頭的運動場上跑來跑去，小臉上洋溢著笑容，有些孩子手中拿著玩具，有些騎著小腳踏車，也有些孩子追著腳踏車跑。他們的笑容純真依舊，散發出天真的氣息，就好像什麼事都沒發生過一樣。我應該為他們的天真感到高興嗎？還是應該為他們的未來感到擔心？
The adults were inside in the first-floor conference room. What a contrast of atmosphere it was compared to outside. A meeting had been set up, and some government official had come to explain to them about their future job opportunities. It was quite loud and many people were speaking.
大人們聚集在會議室開會，會議室的氣氛和外面的歡樂形成強烈對比。幾位政府官員正在向災民們說明未來的工作機會，會議中很吵，因為大家都你一言我一語。
Our medical group helped about twelve patients. Many mentioned itchy skin, most of them blaming it on the different weather, humidity, and ways of life from what they had been accustomed to. I did not have much time to think about paramedical issues. We left in a hurry.
我們的醫療團看了12位病人，大部分都是因為皮膚癢來求診，災民多認為因為不習慣潮濕的氣候所以才會皮膚癢。由於時間倉促，我沒有時間多想相關的醫學問題，就連離開都很倉促。
August 17, 2009, early morning.
The church our medical group stayed at the night before.
We had breakfast with the evacuated villagers currently stationed to live there. There were about fifty of them, children and adults. In my mind, these residents have considered “lucky” in the sense that the housing and bathrooms at this church facility were less of an issue. Others had not been so lucky though, as not every church facility had the ability or capacity to provide a homey environment. In some situations, there were only two “rooms”. Actually, it was more like big vacant spaces. One for females, and the other for males. Husband and wives were separated, and families were divided. Sleeping bags were placed side by side like dominoes. Bathrooms were public and perhaps not enough. There were even complaints of members of the same family being sent to different church allocations. Those who were lucky enough had their family members pick them up and go live with them. I wondered to myself, how long I would be able to stand to live under the same current situations. We filled our stomachs and headed out for our day’s worth of responsibilities.
2009/08/17 清晨
我們和安置在旗山教會的災民一起吃早餐，大人小孩總共約50人。就我而言，這些災民可以住在有房間和衛浴設備的教會裡，某種程度上是很幸運了。因為有些災民的安置點沒有這些設備，只有兩間「房間」，所謂的房間其實就是比較大的「空間」而已，一間給男性，一間給女性，所以夫妻、家人都必須被迫分開。
睡袋和骨牌般排在旁邊，公共衛浴不敷民眾使用，也有些民眾在抱怨為什麼家人都被分送到不同的教會，當然也有些幸運的民眾可以和家人在一起。我不禁問自己，我可以在這樣的環境下過多久？吃飽後，繼續前往下一站。
August 16, 2009, daytime. Chi-Shan Church.
The evacuated villagers were brought down by helicopters from the mountains to Chi-Shan Junior High School, where they were then transported by bus to Chi-Shan Church for future allocation. We had one of our medical teams stationed there. Most of the villagers who came for medical help had aches here and there from all the transporting and traveling. Others had gouty attacks or elevated blood pressure. One middle-aged female patient shared her helicopter experience with me. “It was very loud and extremely noisy”, she said. I believe she told me she had never been at a height higher than five stories high from the ground before. She was scared for her life, as I would be too. It was the first time in her life that she had been in a helicopter; she got to do it twice in one day. She expressed that it was quite an uncomfortable experience.
2009/8/16 早上於旗山教會
部分災民搭直升機從山區抵達旗山國中，又從旗山國中搭公車到旗山教會。大部分的民眾都是因為舟車勞頓引起的酸痛而來求診，有些有痛風、高血壓的問題。有位中年婦女跟我說：「搭直升機，非常非常的吵」，她說她從來沒在高度超過五樓的地方待過，所以很害怕，這是她生平第一次搭直升機，還一天搭兩次，真是難忘的經驗。
August 15, 2009, evening. Chi-Shan, Kaohsiung.
On our way south, we had to take special notice of road signs for detours as many bridges had been torn down by the unforgiving wrath of the roaring water. It had been almost one week since the typhoon, but the roaring rapids of the river next to the highway we were on seemed to be built for advanced white river rafting.
2009/8/15 晚上於高雄旗山
一路往南，看到很多「請繞道」的路標，因為很多橋都被洪水沖毀了。颱風雖已離開一個禮拜了，但水湍急的程度像可以玩激流泛舟一樣。
Our medical group finally arrived at Chi-Shan, Kaohsiung, and it was a scene like no others. There were mud and dirty water all over the place. The mud and water left marks on the building walls as if to remind us of how high of a score it had achieved. You could even see that the air was filled with smog and dirty haze. Residents were busy cleaning up their houses. Soaked furniture was moved outside waiting for their allocation to the garbage dumps. Soldiers were whistling and directing traffic. Military vehicles were transporting troops. Trucks were going in empty and coming out loaded with dirt. It was a busy city. It is difficult to imagine what it had been like just one week ago.
我們的醫療團終於抵達高雄旗山，和其他災區一樣，這裡到處都是淤泥與汙水。這些淤泥留在牆上的痕跡，像是在提醒我們之前淹的有多高一樣，這裡煙霧瀰漫，空氣也灰灰的。居民急著清理他們的家園，浸濕的家具都搬到外面等著丟掉；軍人吹著哨子在指揮交通，也不斷有部隊進駐；空的卡車開進災區又滿載砂石的出來。整個城市都在忙碌，很難想像一個禮拜前的旗山究竟是什麼樣子。
August 15, 2009, morning. Mackay Memorial Hospital.
Rewind the clock to earlier in the day.
The opportunity came up to for volunteer help at Chi-Shan, Kaohsiung, and I quickly jumped on it without hesitation. Perhaps I could be just of a little help, medical or not.
2009/8/15 早上於馬偕醫院
時間拉回早上。
高雄旗山有自願服務的機會，我馬上就加入了。不管是不是醫療相關，我都希望我可以提供幫助。
August 8, 2009. Taiwan.
Turn back the calendar one week earlier.
Every father’s day is memorable in its own way, but I believe this past father’s day will always be in all our hearts.
2009/8/8 台灣 時間回到一周前。
父親節都會用某些特別的方式，留下一些回憶，但我相信，今年的父親節，將會永遠烙印在我們心上。